38th email: March 1st, 2010

What the heck?  You always say stuff like "I'm sure you've heard about the earthquake...tsunami...tornado...(insert natural disaster here)" ... as if I'm a normal person that watches the news and keeps up on stuff...I'm in UKRAINE!  Man alive...so I hope people are ok...I hope Em's ok... It might be good for the area, who knows.  And don't worry about the apartment...it's fine...it wasn't carbon monoxide gas (that's the colorless, odorless one that kills you) and plus we have a detector for that...it's just normal out of the stove gas... apartment is safe.  just everything breaks.  Oh by the way I bought a microwave on my debit card... The office reimbursed me, no worries.  There are 5 zones in my mission, crimea, zap, kherson, dnepr, and poltava.  I don't know how many areas...like 15 maybe...no like 10...Zaporosia used to have two branches, but they were both struggling, so we combined a little bit ago.  It's better this way.  We had SO MANY PEOPLE at church on sunday!  Maybe after spring cleaning they found their book of mormon and were like, "oh yeah.  I'm baptized." i hope not.  haha...no we've been working a lot with them.  We work a lot with innactive members.  Sometimes I feel like I'm a glorified home teacher :)  We're meeting with the Relief Society President and her counselor on Saturday to set up, organize, delegate, and train for some visiting teaching.  If we can really get this going, it will free up the missionaries schedule and we'll have more time to find, teach, and baptize...but how can we give investigators what they need without a strong branch?  I hope these members will get fired up and be proactive.  They need to support each other...we need to get the new guys. 

So not the best day today...I talked to Cectpa Lav today and she told me that Lena hasn't come to church in a long time and doesn't really come to english or FHE anymore.  Ugh.  I don't know what happened... i had a ton of hope for her.  I hope she really is "just busy".  Why is it so hard to see the truth for people?  da, nichevo... we've just got to stay strong for them.  I keep on feeling like I'm not sharp enough...like maybe you're an iron sword, but you're dull...you're strong, but you don't get the job done... not that I'm intending on killing anyone...hahah...but I mean I know I'm strong.  I know I'm made up of the right material...i'm not being proud, just realistic...however, I don't want to loose my edge.  I've heard story after excuse after complaint from people about why they don't want to come back to church, way they don't want to be baptised, and i'm afraid I'm becoming numb to it.  I remember my first transfer, I was a smear of emotions all over Cevastopol... I EXPECTED success...and EXPECTED baptisms...I EXPECTED people to feel the spirit so strong with the missionaries,  that they had to come back...and when it didn't happen, it broke me and in essence, dulled me down bit by bit...numbed me bit by bit.  I'm working on sharpening myself back up... I don't want to not used what the Lord has given me..."Watch yourself"  we read in Benjamins address..."Remember and perish not".  I refuse to be a numb and dull missionary...hahah...almost switched it around and said dumb and null...I refuse to be dumb and null !!!!

Well I have to go. We're going to FHE with a family tonight...she asked us to bring a vase for a present...hahah...alright!  

love you stay strong...dont be dumb...or numb...

love cectpa jones

ps.  MAHH!  1/2 way my bum...april fools!   i wish...